Love and Intimacy

Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, many couples struggle to maintain the same level of passion and closeness they used to enjoy so much. Over time, it is easy to begin to take each other for granted, and to begin to feel that you already know each other and therefore have very little new to talk about. Slowly many couples get swept up in their own routines and stop paying as much attention to each others as they used to.

Couples researcher, John Gottman, has found that intimacy begins to erode once couples cease to pay attention to their friendship with each other. He has pointed out that closeness needs to be cultivated intentionally by conscious efforts to update knowledge of each other's likes and opinions, and continued responsiveness to what he calls "bids for connection", those little moments when one of you reaches out for the other or indicates a desire to feel close.

Couples researcher, Sue Johnson, has suggested that intimate bonds begin to erode when couples cease to have conversations with each other about their more tender feelings, and begin to hide more of themselves to each other. This negative pattern can easily develop once partners feel hurt or invalidated in small ways and therefore begin to pull away emotionally to protect themselves.

Whatever the cause of your disconnection, loneliness, or lack of intimacy, we now have the knowledge to do something about it. Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method, are both very effective methods to stop negative patterns and reignite passion, intimacy, and closeness. You now no longer need to let your relationship die a slow death, but can do something to revive it and make it last a lifetime...